Car:me drives over $iif($$1 == $me,himself,$1)
Chainsaw:me shreds $iif($$1 == $me,himself,$1) with a chainsaw
Cookies:me steals $iif($$1 == $me,himself,$1) $+ 's cookies. mwahaha!
Crevasse:me pushes $iif($$1 == $me,himself,$1) into a crevasse
Crowbar:me follows $iif($$1 == $me,himself,$1) into a dark avenue. Hey test my crowbar!
Cyanide:me persuades $iif($$1 == $me,himself,$1) to eat the cyanide sandwich
Default:me slaps $iif($$1 == $me,himself,$1) around a bit with a large trout
Desert:me forgets $iif($$1 == $me,himself,$1) in the desert. awww
Goatsex:me is searching for $iif($$1 == $me,himself,$1) + goatsex on yahoo. WEEE $rand(10,1000) hits!
House:me burns $iif($$1 == $me,himself,$1) $+ 's house down
Keyboard:me throws a keyboard at $iif($$1 == $me,himself,$1)
Knuckle duster:me beautifies $iif($$1 == $me,himself,$1) with some knuckle duster imprints
Lemmings:me sends hordes of lemmings over $iif($$1 == $me,himself,$1)
Macintosh:me slaps $iif($$1 == $me,himself,$1) around with a pink Macintosh
Mouse cord:me whips $iif($$1 == $me,himself,$1) with a mouse cord
Nuclear:me slaps $iif($$1 == $me,himself,$1) around with nuclear waste
Playstation:me throws a playstation at $iif($$1 == $me,himself,$1)
Rotten.com:me prepares $iif($$1 == $me,himself,$1) to be shown on rotten.com
Sneeze:me sneezes in $iif($$1 == $me,himself,$1) $+ 's face
Stab:me stabs $iif($$1 == $me,himself,$1) in the face
Stardestroyer:me slaps $iif($$1 == $me,himself,$1) around a bit with a small Imperial-Class Stardestroyer
Uglypeople.com:me discovers $iif($$1 == $me,himself,$1) $+ 's picture at uglypeople.com
WindowsMe:me slaps $iif($$1 == $me,himself,$1) around with Windows Me
